Pictured are Scooter Westel, his father-in-law, Jurana Pum, and Scooter's wife, Toto'i dre-no. Scooter, a former Oklahoman and yo-yo salesman, earned his Ph. D. in agriculture from Oklahoma State A&M. His doctoral thesis, Carnivorous Bunnies of the Rockies, was well received in Oklahoma and Kansas; but was challenged by the Colorado State Biologists who observed that although there were recorded instances of bunny attacks in the Rocky Mountains, there was no evidence that these attacks were for the purpose of obtaining food. The biologists further argued that the bunny attacks were more likely initiated because of psychological phenomenon instead of physiological needs of the bunnies. All recorded bunny attacks occurred at peak tourist infestation of the bunnies habitats during the hottest part of the summer camping season or during the coldest part of the winter skiing season. The biologist concluded the attacks were purely a result of extreme stress on the bunnies' psyche and were not the result of hunger.
Scooter met his wife, Toto'i dre-no, while they were both graduate students at Oklahoma State A&M1. Toto'i dre-no, whose name roughly translates into English as Twila Sue Redding, is a former village home economics teacher from the Rain Forest of Brazil. She earned her MBA in Marketing the same year that Scooter got his Ph. D., and she presently has a government grant that allows her to counsel newly arrived immigrants to Colorado in establishing small businesses. Among her clients is a group of Outer Mongolians who are attempting to market fermented mares milk in the Denver area. There has been some limited success of the brew among college students, but Toto'i dre-no thinks that the Mongolians would have better success with a bar-be-cue franchise in Texas.
Toto'i dre-no's father, Jurana Pum2, is a Berkeley trained cost analyst who quit his Brazilian job to help Scooter in his new venture of developing a breed of armadillos especially adapted to crab hunting3. Their prototype armadillo is pictured attacking a fiddler crab, his favorite prey. The armadillo will also attack king crab, blue crab, and crawdads. Since the armadillo's name is Sushi, the attack command is always "Sic 'um Sushi". Sushi seldom eats his prey. There are plans to develop a crab hunting strain of Argentine anteaters for introduction into Colorado. If the Breeding program is successful, Scooter hopes to release hatchery crabs, possibly snow crabs, into selected areas of Colorado for sporting purposes. At this date, no one has discovered a commercial reason for continuing the hunting armadillo-breeding program. Because the business community has shown little interest in investing, Scooter and his father-in-law are planning a visit to Washington soon. They are confident the Department of the Interior will want this one.